teetotaling

Even for the most friendless, co-dependent serial monogamists among us, the “existential crisis” of being alone need not entail the next horizon of intoxication.

(image: courtesy Not Mr. Right’s blog)

Besides, drugs can affect your appearance, infringing on the quest for the next commitment-phob, or new old friends.

So if you need to escape, but lack an entourage, just take to NYC’s ever-evolving Scenic Sidewalk.

(photo: courtesy The Scenic Sidewalk of art by Swoon)

And make The Best of it; by bike or by foot.

Maybe you just need to find the right robot cowboy to teetotal with.

(photo: courtesty robot cowboy), OMG.

How’dya, given that you aren’t bringing bones back from the bars, you’ve crapped too much in your own backyard (friend-wise) and you work alongside “faithfully devoted” baby boomers? Well, ONLINE there’s um “Internet Dating” (i.e. nerve, match, okcupid), predatory social networking on less awkwardly blatant flirt sites (i.e. myspace, friendster, facebook) and ehem blogs/forums.

If you’re not good enough at Photoshopping your Photobooth headshots into godliness to bump self-portrait threads, you can go-at-it in mass in person at “Singles” events, (i.e. speed dating), young cultural enthusiast functions (i.e. Museums) or join the *NEWLY* developed BKLYN-specific pheromone-mediation club (Brooklyn is For Lovers).

But a real benefit to teetotaling is that you’ll be sober, and sobriety means, KILLING TIME. The time you used to spend blacked out or watching wood-grain morph into rams. Killing time entails HOBBIES. And hobbies are good ways to meet people, with “common interests,” i.e. role-playing crumbling-Mayan-civilization:

Zero Wolf, of Apocalypto (Gibson, 2006), also OMG

So, start hobbying.